Category Archives: Pets

The future of an Easter chick isn’t pretty

A question, George, Pets,

imagesMany years ago, my husband, George, had a secretary who had a young son.  One Easter, the secretary–I’ll call her Mary to protect her identity from any animal rights group–and her husband bought little Bobby a chick several weeks before Easter.  The family also had a German shepherd, a large but gentle dog, Mary said, who adored that little bird.  She told stories of how the dog allowed the chick to sit on his face, to run across his back.  The dog even carried the chick around on the top of his head.  It was so very cute.images

On Easter Sunday, they headed for church and left the chick and the dog alone, together, as usual.  When they returned home, they couldn’t find the chick anywhere.  They looked all over and even called it because chicks are so good at coming when their names are called.  Finally, they decided, the chick had escaped from the house somehow.

Does anyone want to guess what George thought happened to it?

More lines I”ll never forget

A question, Musings, Pets, Writing, , , , , ,

I love to laugh.  I have two cats who do funny stuff,  a Tickle-Me Elmo and a deep love and imagesappreciation of The Big Bang Theory.   What I enjoy most about a good line, a well-written sentence, is that when repeated or thought about, the wording can make me laugh even completely out of context.  All someone has to say is, “Penny, . . . knock, knock, knock,” or sing “Soft kitty, warm kitty. . .” and I smile.

Here’s one of my favorites from The Amazing Race.   When we lived in Louisville, George and I used to watch this every Derby Day leading up to the Derby because, it was, about a race.  The cast was Tony Curtis as the Great Leslie, Natalie Wood, Peter Falk, and the marvelous Jack Lemon as Professor Fate.  The characters are racing around the world in an effort to win the race.  The evil Professor Fate attempts to destroy all the other teams.  In one case, he chases The Great Leslie across Europe and believes Leslie has been imprisoned in a castle.  When he finds out that Leslie has escaped with a priest, he has the following conversation with a military leader at the castle:

images

Professor Fate:  Leslie escaped?

General Kuhster: Yes, with a small friar.

Professor Fate:  Leslie escaped with a chicken?

Why does that make me laugh?  Why, after all these years, do I grin when I think of that?  Here are some guesses:    1)  I love a play on words    2)  It was in character   3)  I don’t know.  LaughterIt just amuses me still.

Do you have any lines you remember with a smile or that produce a guffaw?  I’d love to know. I’d like to laugh along with you.  And, remember laughing is good for you and contains no calories!

 

 

 

 

 

 

..They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles. Really.

In the evening, I would stand in front of my hut and watch in horror as these giant flies would pick children off the ground and carry them away.

They shot my belly out.

Professor Fate: Leslie escaped?

General: With a small friar.

Professor Fate: Leslie escaped with a chicken?

A house is not a home without a resident nag

A question, Pets, , , , , ,

Maggie, the little girl cat, looks sweet and loving, and she is.  However, there is a dark side to her personality.  She’s a nag, a terrible nag. Fourteen pounds of fur and she controls my life.

When she wants me to sit down and pet her, DSCN0438she tells me–loudly and insistently no matter what else I may be doing–my duty is to leap to my feet and obey. When her water bowl is nearly empty, she searches me out–not hard in my small apartment–and gives me a hard time, screeching at me until I follow her.  Then she wants me to pour the water from above so she can lick a few drops as it goes by.

Yes, Maggie knows exactly what she wants done and how I should do it.  I must be a great burden and disappointment to her.  I hate hearing her ME-OWW!  because I know somehow I’ve failed terribly.  Listed below are some of the things I say to her when she demands I do what she wants me to do.

MAGGIE:  Mee-ooowimages

JANE:  Hold your horses. I have to answer the phone.

or “Just a minute. I have to check my blood sugar.”

or “I’ll be right there. Let me finish typing this word.”

or  “Hold on, I have to scoop the cat box.”

or  “Keep your furry little pants on, I’m eating now.”  or “I’m sleeping now.” or “I’m pottying now.”

images“Be patient.  I have to call a friend. . . Okay, I’ll feed you first.”

“In a minute. I have to load the dishwasher.”

Or get a glass of water or clean up the kitty vomit (usually from Scooter, Maggie’s big, furry brother) . . . or . . . so many things.

What Maggie says after I explain the delay:   ME-OWW.

Who nags you? I’d love to hear.

 

Beating the Holiday Blues by Diane Perrine Coon

Holidays, Pets, Reading, Sports, University of Louisville, , , , ,

Today my marvelous sister-in-law, Diane Perrine Coon, shares remedies for Holiday Blues.

imagesWhen you’re sick over the holidays and still trying to cook meals and your head’s all stuffed up and you really don’t plan to make it to midnight and celebrate the New Year because all you are doing is coughing up mucus, then you have the Holiday Blues.

Here are my suggestions of how to ward off the Holiday Blues.

  1. Share your misery with the first person on your phone callback button, especially if they are trying to sell you something.
  2. Wander in and out of the bathroom looking for something, anything, everything because you can’t remember what it was you thought you needed.images
  3. Watch college basketball and if it gets too much, watch NBA basketball. Do not watch football, there are too many players on the field and you will get mixed up.
  4. Wrap up in a sweater, a coverlet, and a quilt over the top off all and then wonder why you feel hot when you don’t have a fever.
  5. Drink fluids – soft drinks, tea, coffee, ice water, fruit juices – and stay real close to the bathroom.
  6. imagesMake the dog go outside by himself. If the dog police come get you, hand them the leash.
  7. Read lots of recipes. Think how long it will take to prepare them, and then discard all of them. But the bright photos showing fabulous meals will brighten up the room.
  8. Play computer games, many of them. Mindless almost fun even when sneezing all over the keyboard.
  9. Send your soul-mate to the liquor store to get Plum Wine. It cures everything and especially the Holiday Blues. Guarantee it.images
  10. Think back to the last time you had a great holiday. Was that twenty years ago?

Get well all of you out there with Holiday Blues.

 

 

Things that go BEEP in the night and during the day

Musings, Pets, ,

imagesThis morning I woke up to the sound of beeps.   The complex is getting a facelift.  The Conservatory is beautifully maintained which takes a great deal of work.  So for a week we’ve had cherry pickers ascending and descending with a lot of beep-beeps.   After the first few, the cats settled down.  I didn’t do that nearly as well which surprised me because I thought they were much more high maintenance than I.  It took me two days until I stopped noticing the beeps.

The other day, I heard very light beeps, about four or five minutes apart.  The tone wasn’t loud enough for me to discover where it came from–odd because this is a very small apartment.  I got a chair and put it in the middle of the kitchen where I sat to try to locate the sound.  Nothing.  I moved to the hall.   All this movement away from them worried the Maggie-and-Toy1cats.  They followed me every place my chair and I went meowing and generally upset.  I finally decided it was  low battery on the sprinkler system and called maintenance to take care of it.  Aah, the luxury of having people who do these choirs.

Then there was another beeping that came at varying times and I could not catch the culprit no matter how I listened.  Finally figured out it was a warning the battery on my cell running down.  Most of you probably know that, but I’m helplessly behind with cellphones.  If I plug it in, I’m fine.  If not, I wonder where that buzzing’s coming from.

The  sounds I love to hear come from real creatures:  Scooter purring and Maggie meowing loudly to nag me to come with with her and pet her.  People outside laughing and enjoying.  The sounds of people dining together or laughing in water aerobics.

For sounds are not always noise.  They warn and comfort and remind us that we aren’t alone, that the world is going on and we can join in.

Whoops–the beep on the dryer just sounded.  Excuse me while I fold sheets.

Hoarding for fun but little profit

A question, Confession, Musings, Pets, ,

blanketI just got rid of the blanket George and I shared for ten years.  It was soft and warm and lasted a long time.  What more can one ask of a blanket?   However, I noticed when I put it on the bed in October, it had what looked like many little tears in the surface.  One more winter, I thought.  Surely I can use it one more winter. because I’m too cheap to buy another.   I blogged on this a year ago so you don’t remember this confession:  I’m cheap.   Really, really cheap, extraordinarily frugal.frugality

Every time I changed the sheets, I noticed that the slits had turned into small holes.  In those places, mesh showed through.   This is a Vellux blanket in which fabric is sprayed onto mesh.    LIttle by little, the cover wears off.  I also found small pieces of soft, maroon fabric on the sheets last week.

My plan was to give the old blanket to the veterinarian hospital that takes such good care of my pets, but, when I pulled it out of the dryer this morning, I noted huge chunks of fabric inside the dryer, a mess in dog in blanket cutethe lint filter, and huge holes in the blanket.  I’m not sure even the dogs want this. I wanted to take a picture for this blog, but the old thing was shedding too much to carry it the picture taking site.

The good news:  I made it through winter without having to buy another blanket.  Who knows what may happen before next fall when I need to buy a new blanket?  I could decide to use the quilt my grandmother made or move to a warmer place or, well, who knows?

What have you kept for too long?    What can’t you part with and why not?   Do you hold onto possessions for sentimental reasons?   Because they are pretty or useful?  Are you a collector or someone who hopes they’ll be worth a lot in a few years?  Or, are you cheap like me?    I’d love to know.

The Sound of Approval

Quilt005-450x600I love petting Scooter, my gorgeous long-haired tuxedo cat.   His fur feels like cashmere.  But  the greatest joy is that he purrs, loudly.    He makes me believe–true or not–that I’m the most important being in his life.  Then he leaps off my lap and scratches the furniture and bites his sister’s eaars.  Nonetheless, when I’m petting him, I’m sure we’re communicating.

I wish all beings made a sound which allowed me to understand their thoughts.  Oh, yes, I know many do and often loudly and crudely, but that’s not what I mean.  For example:

I wish those I cook for made a sound like “yummy, yummy” every time they enjoyed that meal or treat.  Of course, the echoing silence coming from them when chewing a dish they didn’t like might be a downside.

Wouldn’t it be great if a teenager made a positive sound when he/she happy studentsrecognized I’d done something right or good or helpful instead of that withering shrug.   Perhaps it would sound something like a dove,  a high pitched “Cool, cool, cool.”   Or, if that’s too much to expect, “Okay, okay.”  Just not, “Whatever.”

Or, perhaps, my boss–as he piled more work on my desk–might make a sound like, “Good job” or “Well done.”   Could be I’d work even harder.

As I think of this, I realize I too should make more positive sounds when something good happens.  Yes, I should actually give my approval in real words.   “Great” or “Thank you” or “I admire you”.

What do you think?

 

 

Cats do NOT understand NPO

Pets, , , , , , ,

check up 2Yesterday, I took the cats to the vet in the middle of the night.  Actually, it was seven-fifteen but when one is retired, one forgets  anything happens that early.   They went in to get their teeth cleaned and have  a locating  chip implanted.  Because this is done under anesthesia–who’d want to clean the tiny but sharp teeth of an awake cat?–the kitties couldn’t eat after midnight.  And their not eating wasn’t really NPO–they had a bowl of water–but really fasting.  They did not like this whatever I called it because THE FOOD BOWL WAS GONE!

When the veterinarian said a year ago that  Scooter was getting fat and I should take his food away at night and not allow him to graze, I thought, “Has she ever had a cat?”  Oh, she’s a wonderful doctor but if Mr. Scootter, who considers himself the king of the word, doesn’t have food at night, he makes sure no one (meaning ME)  has a minute of sleep.  So, normally, I feed the cats in the evening and take the bowl away in the afternoon.  But last night after I took away the food bowl, the entire night was motion and noise–nudge, nudge, nudge–purr, cuddle, cuddle,  and ME-OW!  Finally in what I could tell was deep frustration,  he placed his soft little paw on my cheek, stared mounrfully into my puffy, blood-shot eyes and said, “Why are you starving the Scooter?”empty food bowl

Because I foresaw this problem, yesterday after dinner I explained to Maggie and Scooter that they wouldn’t have food after midnight.  They didn’t listen and they don’t have watches.  I know they didn’t listen because they never do and because Scooter ignored all the  explanations I reminded him about after every one of the fifty times he woke me up.   Now Maggie may be hungry but she allows Scooter to approach me about that prolblem.  She saves all her nagging for telling where I should sit so I can scratch her tummy.

No, cat do not understand NPO but they are so worth a little lack of sleep.   They’d just better leave me alone tonight.

A message from our cats: Don’t worry about what you look like

Musings, Pets, , ,

One thing I’ve learned from my cats:  they don’t care what they look like.   They don’t stand in front of a mirror and pat down a stray hair or cover their faces with makeup to blot out features they don’t like.  No, what they look like is, well, what they look like.

Scooter has a face that makes people laugh.  He makes me smile every time I see him.  He has a Groucho-like moustache.  Scooter believes he’s is the greatest, most wonderful, most handsome creature in the world and the fact that people laugh at his face doesn’t bother him at all.  He is THE cat and rules this 1200-square-foot apartment, his world.

On the other hand, Maggie has a round little tummy and a fairly large backside.  She’s not fat.  She just carries her weight a little low.   George always said that she looked like a cookie jar when she sat.  She does, a cookie jar with lots of room for goodies on the bottom.   And she doesn’t care at all.  Does not care.  She believes me and purrs loudly when I tell her she’s the most beautiful female feline ever.

I got a haircut three weeks ago.  A bad haircut.  It looks great in the front but it’s very short in the back.   I have hair that’s both fine and straight as well as wirey.  The back of my head looks like a roof with very badly laid shingles or, perhaps, a thatched roof with all the straw escaping.  My hair sticks out all over and it’s too short for me to fix.  I’ve tried gels and mousse but, once they dry, the gelled hair doesn’t hold and sticks up and out even more.

For that reason, I’ve adopted the cat’s point of view.  I don’t care.  I can’t see the back of my head so I’m going to ignore the mess and  believe that I look really terrific.

Besides, hair will grow.   In a month or two, it will be long enough I can get a hot roller in there to tame it.

For the time being, I’m avoiding mirrors.   

Blessings

Celebrating, Church, Family, George, Musings, Pets, ,

This hasn’t been a good year.  The hardest part was the death of my husband.  I still mourn that.   Then, when I was nomnated for a top honor for THE WELCOME COMMITTEE OF BUTTERNUT CREEK and planned to go to the conference in Atlanta to attend the conference and award ceremony, I had a detached retina which meant I couldn’t fly until three days after that ceremony.  A disappointment.

But, in the midst of these months, there were many, many blessings.  Let me count them for you.

1)  I got to spend forty-seven years with the finest, sexiest, most intelligent and delightful man in the world.  Not every second was marvelous but the whole experience changed me and made me a better, happier, more self-confident person.

2)  My friends have been so wonderful.  Church friends, writing friends, long-time friends have written me and supported me, come by when I was hysterical, held my hand, called and sent me flowers.  I have been so very blessed by all of them.

3)  George’s family and best friend dropped everything and came to Texas.  They took care of me, stayed with George, and I will always remember their love and concern and how much their presence meant to George.

4)  I was nominated for a RITA, something I thought would never, never happen.   My career has not be a long series of successes.  In twelve years, ten of my books have been published.  My friend Tracy Wolff writes that many in a week–every one of them great.   Exactly three weeks after George’s funeral, I received the call my book was nominated.   I didn’t even realize that was the day RITA calls were being made.  I didn’t answer the first call because I screen calls and didn’t recognize the number.   I only answered the second call to ask this person not to bother me again.   But the fact remains:  I was nominated for a RITA.  That overwhelmed me and continues to.

5)  I have enough to eat, a nice apartment, a car that runs, and two darling cats that keep my company.   Those facts put me in a small percentage of the world’s population.  Although this feels like a blessing, I’m haunted by those who go to bed hungry, who live in a box or hovel, who have no health care or or future.

6)   For a person my age, I’m fairly healthy.  I try to swim four or five times a week in a pool only steps from my apartment.   I know lots of specialists who watch over my health and keep me running.

7)  And my CARDS won the NCAA basketball championship!

And I know there are more but these are at the top of my list.  Many thanks to all of you who’ve been parts of those blessings.