Category Archives: Musings

Following up: A teacher’s nighmares

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I have recurring nightmares about teaching.  Even though I retired from teaching six years ago, they still haunt me.  No one gets hurt in those nightmares and there’s little gore.   I dream about the worst situations I could ever have as a teacher:  hundreds of students meeting in a tiny cabin with no books or material.  I always arrive late because I can’t find the place.   And sometimes I’m wearing the wrong kind of underwear:  bright green under a white shirt. 

Oddly, the students are terrific.  Not a discipline problem in sight. 

The administrators who stop by never notice the crowds or the lack of material, and always ignore what I say–not always true in my real life of teaching but often enough that it comes up in the bad dreams.  Oh, and the administrators always  make note of that inappropriate underwear. 

Recently, I realized I have the nightmares when I’m under stress.  With the most important novel in my career releasing in two weeks and all the promo I’m doing and edits for the second book at the same time I’m attempting to write the third book in the series–well, yes, I’m feeling pressure.  At least I understand why they pop up.

What I wonder is this: 

 1)   Do some of you teachers have this kind of dream?  I have a good friend who doesn’t.  Obviously Martha is much more balanced than I.

2)    Do people in other professions have bad dreams?  Do fire fighters dream of burning buildings?   Are nurses surrounded by dozens of patients shoutng for medication? 

I’d really love to know.  If you don’t have nightmares about your job, what does bother you in your sleep?   Or, what kind of bad dream might you have?

Confessions of a Cheapskate, part two

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In an earlier blog, I confessed that I’m frugal.   However, my husband is cheap unless, of course, he’s looking to buy  a computer, car or television.

But, I digress.  George reminded me how cheap he was the other day.  He was eating soup with cheese  and crackers for lunch and said, “I really don’t like this kind of cracker.”

I said, “Don’t eat them.  I have  another box in the pantry.”

He paused, glanced at the offending square, and said, “No, I’m almost finished with them.”

Yes, he had only five crackers left.

“Besides,” he added.  “I can hardly taste them if I put a lot of cheese on top.”

Can any of you beat that?

Sneeze, itch and sweat

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I’m not a gardener.  I enjoy the final outcome, either flowers or tomatoes but spending time outside makes me sneeze, itch and perspire.

On the other hand, I know there are people who find great joy in digging and growing.  I have a heroine in the third book of the Tales from Butternut Creek series who finds healing through gardening but I don’t understand why she would.  I’d love to hear from you about why you love gardening and your opinion on how digging and planting could heal that heroine.   Thank you.

Worst review ever?

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[This is embarrassing.  The post is supposed to be amusing.  Some readers have sent my notes about how sorry they are that someone gave me a bad review.  Not so!  I was attempting to write humor.  Please laugh.]

“This book does not disappoint.”    I read lots of reviews at on-line books stores.  Every time I see “Does not disappoint,” I wonder if there is less enthusiastic praise than that.  Yes, there are many worse reviews.  “This book made me throw up” is one I hope never to see.   Another is, “I hated this book so much I ground it up, made it into hamburgers, and poisoned my neighbors’ barking dog with it.”

But if you want to recommend a book, please find a way to express your  view in words that sound like a compliment.  When I read the “does-not-disappoint” comment on a review site, it brings to mind images and scenarios like these:

“When my table wobbled, I shoved this book under a leg.  It did not disappoint.”

“I used this book to kill an ant and it did not disappoint.”

“A friend recommended this book to cure my insomnia.  It did not disappoint.”

I mean, really, is this what you, as a reader, mean to suggest?   “It does not disappoint” is like using the old Texas saying “Reading this book was better than a poke in the eye.”  Not high praise.

Do you ever post a review?  Have you read any reviews that you thought were really good or bad?

I have a confession to make . . .

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I don’t like to spend money.  No, the problem goes even deeper.  More than just Scotch or parsimonious or frugal, I’m downright—an ugly word is coming up–cheap.   As the clichés go, I can squeeze a dollar until it screams.   See that picture below of the person burning a dollar?   That is not me!  I take gentle care of every bill.

How cheap am I?

I’m currently using a lipstick which is such a  terrible color it makes me look as if I have jaundice .  When I brush it on, it feels as if I’ve smeared grease on my lips.  In addition, that terrible blobby substance leaves hideous, oily magenta  stains on anything within five inches.  I keep using it because the tube cost nearly nine dollars.

I’ve used room spray that smells only slightly better than the odor it’s meant to mask and throws my sinuses into spasms.  I can’t stop using it.  I still have half a can left. 

Most days, you’ll see a bottle of something—hand lotion, laundry detergent, ketchup—on the counter with another bottle of the same substance on top of it upside down, the contents dripping into the first container.  I like to believe I’m saving the world one drip-drop at a time.

Do any of you take such drastic measures to save money?  Funny or helpful, give me your tips here.  AND, if they’re sound, I’ll use them either in my next newsletter or my website (janemyersperrine.com) and mention your name.  I’m looking for these tips because the people who populate Butternut Creek are a thrifty lot and Adam doesn’t have two pennies to rub together.  .