Category Archives: A question

Editing just because I can

April 8, 2014A question, Confession, George, MusingsJane

A few weeks back, I asked on Facebook if anyone else edited the books they were reading as they read. Many people commented that they did. Some said they didn’t edit if the sentence didn’t interrupt the story. For me, if I have to stop to figure out the meaning, I quickly edit and move on, feeling better.

There’s a sentence in a television commercial for a medication that always made George laugh, a warning for “those who take aspirin or the elderly.” As he explained, the sentence contained a warning for “those who take the elderly” although it didn’t seem to bother anyone else. What an easy fix to write, “the elderly and those who take aspirin.”

A sentence I read the other day. “He found a pair of boots that would fit him hanging in the closet.” Truly, my first thought was that he could wear these boots as he hung in the closet.” Logic took over. Of course, the BOOTS were hanging in the closet. The sentence wouldn’t have stopped me–the incredibly picky and easily confused reader–if written like this: “Hanging in the closet was a pair of boots that would fit him.”

And over and over, run on sentence beg me–simply implore me–to edit them, to cut them up into comprehensible units. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I cannot read Faulkner. He had one sentence that was a page and a half long. I could not handle it. I rush to add that Faulkner is one of the best novelists in the country and I’m not, but I still believe he’d profit from a little editing.

Do you ever edit as you read? Please share. It always makes me feel better to know I’m not alone.

Hoarding for fun but little profit

April 1, 2014A question, Confession, Musings, Petscheap, hoarding, VelluxJane

I just got rid of the blanket George and I shared for ten years. It was soft and warm and lasted a long time. What more can one ask of a blanket? However, I noticed when I put it on the bed in October, it had what looked like many little tears in the surface. One more winter, I thought. Surely I can use it one more winter. because I’m too cheap to buy another. I blogged on this a year ago so you don’t remember this confession: I’m cheap. Really, really cheap, extraordinarily frugal.

Every time I changed the sheets, I noticed that the slits had turned into small holes. In those places, mesh showed through. This is a Vellux blanket in which fabric is sprayed onto mesh. LIttle by little, the cover wears off. I also found small pieces of soft, maroon fabric on the sheets last week.

My plan was to give the old blanket to the veterinarian hospital that takes such good care of my pets, but, when I pulled it out of the dryer this morning, I noted huge chunks of fabric inside the dryer, a mess in the lint filter, and huge holes in the blanket. I’m not sure even the dogs want this. I wanted to take a picture for this blog, but the old thing was shedding too much to carry it the picture taking site.

The good news: I made it through winter without having to buy another blanket. Who knows what may happen before next fall when I need to buy a new blanket? I could decide to use the quilt my grandmother made or move to a warmer place or, well, who knows?

What have you kept for too long? What can’t you part with and why not? Do you hold onto possessions for sentimental reasons? Because they are pretty or useful? Are you a collector or someone who hopes they’ll be worth a lot in a few years? Or, are you cheap like me? I’d love to know.

Magical Thinking, Basketball, and Louisville, Kentucky

March 11, 2014A question, Celebrating, Church, Musings, Sports, University of LouisvilleAsh Wednesday, basketball, Diane, faith, sister-in-law, superstitionJane

We sports fans are superstitious. I’m absolutely certain if I wear my OCTAGON OF DOOM T-shirt Kansas State will win all home basketball games. I didn’t wear it Saturday and we lost.

My husband believed that if he held our buff cocker spaniel in a certain way, the University of Louisville Cardinals would win. That was in 1980 when we DID win our first national championship. Guess it did work all.

But what this is really is called “magical thinking”, the idea that if I do things exactly this way, I have control over the situation. It’s magic!

I’m guilty of this which is why, when my sister-in-law Diane called last Wednesday and said “I’m afraid if I don’t go to the Ash Wednesday services tonight, Uof L will lose the game,” I believed her. Yes, the Cards were playing SMU on Ash Wednesday and she feared God would punish her team if she didn’t go to the service. I didn’t go to services because I don’t drive at night so this was ALL up to Diane. She hadn’t decided yet if she’d leave as soon as she got the ash cross on her forehead–the Episcopalians have a name for that act but I belong to a far less liturgical church and don’t know what the word is–or stay for the entire service.

Neither of us believe God cares who wins a basketball game. We know a final score is is a petty concern in a world filled with hunger and disease, earthquakes and tsunamis. And, yet, maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t tempt fate. That’s superstition not faith.

So, yes, I know God doesn’t guide a basketball through a hoop or cause a turnover. But when SMU went up 26-12, I leaped to my feet, grabbed a phone, and called to tell her that I blamed her for the lopsided score if she hadn’t gone to the service.

She wasn’t home. I left a message. As I hung up, UofL went on a run and never looked back. We won easily. She called me after the game was over and took credit for the win because she’d gone to the entire service Thank you, Diane!

Do you have a superstition which guarantees your team wins? Or at least makes you feel as if you have some control?

Jay Leno, Billy Crystal, and me

March 4, 2014A question, MusingsBilly Crystal, Jay Leno, stick to it, Wayne GretzkyJane

On Jay Leno’s final show, he and Billy Crystal reminisced about the time before they made it big. Jay said he’d finally gotten a slot to perform in a nationally broadcast event. Just as he was introduced, a special bulletin came on about the a hurricane. No one got to see his set.

Billy Crystal said his first big break came in an appearance on a “That Was the Week that Was.” His set was about the first commercial after the legalization of marijuana, a complete spoof because this was made many years ago when support for such a law didn’t exist. The night the show aired, he was watching at home and that skit never appeared. The network had decided they didn’t want to be associated with marijuana in any way and cut the piece.

I imagine each of us had a story about how our first break never happened. When I started writing, I wrote sweet Regencies. My first, The Mad Herringtons, was a Golden Heart finalist so was a fairly good book. But every publisher I submitted it to closed their Regency line about a week before I submitted. With one, I got two letters from one publishing company. The first offered a contract. The second withdrew it because the line had just closed.

All three of us kept going and finally made it–although Jay Leno and Billy Crystal at a slightly higher level than I. But, as Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Do you have a story about how you kept trying or an inspirational story about someone else? I love to hear them.

What great parents

February 25, 2014A question, Musings, travelDiego Rivera, MexicoJane

Many years ago, during an obvious lapse in judgement which turned out to be lots of fun, I agreed to take a group of my high school Spanish students to Mexico. We all survived.

What I’ll never forget from that trip–made, of course, when I was much younger–was the art. Everywhere we went were murals with obvious political statements about the government and politics and history of Mexico painted on the walls and ceilings of many public buildings. The paintings transcended the political message in their artistry and beauty, the vibrancy of the colors, the glorious scope and vision of the muralists. I immediately became a huge aficionada of the work of them all, but most deeply of Diego Rivera.

For that reason, I was reading about his life in Wikipedia and came upon this wonderful story. It seems that Rivera was born one of a twin. His brother died when he was two. A year later, Diego began his career in art. “He had been caught drawing on the walls. His parents, rather than punishing him, installed chalkboards and canvas on the walls.”

How cool is this? Most parents would probably have punished a three year old, at least discouraged him forcefully from drawing on the wall. Did he become a great muralist because he was allowed to draw on the walls? Or did his parents recognize his talent even when he was so young and encourage him? Or were they just the kind of parents we wish we all had and could be?

Do you have a story about how your parents or a friend or relative encouraged you? Or have you encouraged another person to fulfil a dream. I’d love to hear.

The Sound of Approval

I love petting Scooter, my gorgeous long-haired tuxedo cat. His fur feels like cashmere. But the greatest joy is that he purrs, loudly. He makes me believe–true or not–that I’m the most important being in his life. Then he leaps off my lap and scratches the furniture and bites his sister’s eaars. Nonetheless, when I’m petting him, I’m sure we’re communicating.

I wish all beings made a sound which allowed me to understand their thoughts. Oh, yes, I know many do and often loudly and crudely, but that’s not what I mean. For example:

I wish those I cook for made a sound like “yummy, yummy” every time they enjoyed that meal or treat. Of course, the echoing silence coming from them when chewing a dish they didn’t like might be a downside.

Wouldn’t it be great if a teenager made a positive sound when he/she recognized I’d done something right or good or helpful instead of that withering shrug. Perhaps it would sound something like a dove, a high pitched “Cool, cool, cool.” Or, if that’s too much to expect, “Okay, okay.” Just not, “Whatever.”

Or, perhaps, my boss–as he piled more work on my desk–might make a sound like, “Good job” or “Well done.” Could be I’d work even harder.

As I think of this, I realize I too should make more positive sounds when something good happens. Yes, I should actually give my approval in real words. “Great” or “Thank you” or “I admire you”.

What do you think?

Scaredy cat

January 21, 2014A question, Confession, Hysteria, MusingsHalloween, haunted house, heroes, panic, Sandy HookJane

I’m always to impressed in a movie when people are held hostage and the hero says, “I’ll stay with you if you’ll let the women and children go.” What a strong, compassionate–and just a little hot–man.

Heroes–like the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School who attempted to stop the gun man, who shoved children in closets, who took the shots to save the children from death–they were admirable, true heroes. I’d like to be that strong.

But would I be like that? Could I be so brave that I’d trade my life for the life of another person? I always hope that if I were in such a situation, I’d step forward and speak to the hostage taker in such soft, dulcet tones that I’d calm them or sing Amazing Grace with so much emotion that the person would realize the need to turnaway from the dark side. Perhaps such loving foregiveness would shine in my face that the criminal would suddenly recognize the need to change his life.

I’d like to so but I’m not at all sure.

Many years ago a fifth-grade student talked me in to going into a Haunted House around Halloween. He promised me it would not be scary (Hint: never trust the word of a fifth grader about if anything is scary or not) But I believed him and we went inside what was a converted barn. I was just fine and not a bit frightened with the first few stops. But then a cobweb-covered ghost lying in a casket sat up. I knew very well this was a teenage kid wearing a costume. I knew there was nothing supernatural here. I understood all of this. Nevertheless, as soon as that ghost sat up, I screamed and ran, shoving small children out of my way. I pushed aside a sobbing little girl. I reached the door first and rolled it open, never stopping in my panic. In that moment I didn’t care if the ghost got everyone else as long as I made it out of the haunted house alive. ( In the interest of accuracy, I must state I never looked like the picture on the right.)

I am filled with deep shame as I confess this. But I still hope–given a chance–I have the courage to save an entire island from the heavily armed revolutionaries. Yes, I could do that–as long as the action doesn’t take place in a haunted house.

Have you experienced any moments that showed a really admirable side of you? Or, perhaps, a negative? Please tell me–especially the negative side. It would make me feel so much better.

I never know what day it is

January 15, 2014A question, Church, Confessionmental health, Stay calm, What day is it? Winnie the PoohJane

Sadly, I never know what day it is.

I worked for many years in the mental health field. One of the ways mental health workers use to see if a patient is oriented in time is to ask him/her what day it is. I’d have flunked that because I might be within two or three days of the week but never knew the exact date. I always feared if I ever were placed in a mental institution, I’d be kept until, somehow, I chanced to hit the day correctly.

Before I retired, I knew I worked Monday through Friday. Therefore, if I was at work, it had to be one of those days. I knew I went to church on Sunday. Check.

But now that I’m retired, I don’t have anything constant in a week except for Sunday. My writers’ group used to meet on the second Tuesday. Now, with our present meeting place and conflicts with scheduling, the date hops around. Fortunately, the person I ride with knows when we meet and reminds me. Thanks, Kristin!

Yesterday (which was Tuesday), I asked our associate minister when I could make a call on a member. She said Tuesday and Thursdays are hard for her to make hospital calls. So I told her, “I’ll make the call tomorrow,” which did not help her schedule at all. Fortunately, she understands the tangle my brain can be. I’m making the visit tomorrow–which is, I believe, Thursday.

I’ve set Tuesday as my main blog day but didn’t post yesterday because–you guessed it–I thought yesterday was Monday. So here is the blog, a day late but here.

What do you forget? I like to know. It makes me feel I’m not alone.

The most absurd commercial?

January 3, 2014A question, Musings, Stuff, Technologyabsurd commercials, car on train, commercials, fantasy, Smart carJane

I’ve seen a lot of idiotic commercials on television–the Cialis bath tubs, for example–but a recent commercial makes me worry. Perhaps we shouldn’t allow people who believe they can do whatever is done on television to ever leave their homes. Ever.

The one I’m talking about is an automobile commercial in which the driver zooms up a ramp. The speed and angle of the car allow it to become airborne. It lands on the top of a train. A warning at the bottom of the screen says, “Fantasy. Do not try this.” If that’s not enough, the next warning reads: “Fantasy. Do not try this. Cars cannot land on trains.” Do people really not know this? Again, if they don’t, they should not be allowed out on the street on foot or in any kind of vehicle.

What’s the most absurd commercial you’ve seen? I’d like to know.

Also, as I searched for a picture, I couldn’t find one of a car on top of a train. That lack tells me that, really, people seem to know this is not true. All I could find is a car INSIDE a train (above) which, I’m fairly sure is fantasy as well but it was the best I could do.

A few differences between cats and dogs

December 31, 2013A question, Musings, Readingcats, dogs, fact checkJane

1. 95% of dogs will help their owners clean by licking up food dropped on the floor. 12% of cats will deign to sniff it before walking away.

2. 92% of dogs will protect their owners by barking at strangers. 1% of cats will protect their owners if they feel like it.

3. 71% of dogs are trained to sit on command. 100% of cats will sit when they feel like it.

Okay–what did you think of this? Are dogs better than cats because of their habits? Here’s the background. A friend posted an article on Facebook comparing the habits of two groups of people. It was obvious the writer greatly preferred one group, looked down on the other, and hope to influence the reader to agree. For that reason, I decided to write this blog because this is often done and we are so easily manipulated.

Reading an column, we should look at who the writer is and what that writer’s point of view is. The writer of those three comparisions between dogs and cats seems fairly obviously a dog person. (For the sake of fairness, I have to admit that I am the person who wrote this–as if you haven’t guessed– and really love both canines and felines.)

Fact check. Did these statistics come from the writer’s brain, a trusted and professional study, or a study done by Dogs-Who-Hate-Cats? Don’t be manipulated by a prejudiced writer or by facts and figures that may not be based on anything other than that they fit with our ideas and we like to find someone else who agrees.

Ask yourself: are there other factors that could explain these? Well, of course, more dogs back than cats because they ARE dogs!

Here’s another and different examples: What do you think could explain this difference in habits? Again, numbers are made up. 75% of men shower once a day. 23% women do. We could jump to the conclusion that men are cleaner than women. But the truth could also be 1) Many women prefer to take a bath or 2) Some women shower twice a day.

In this age of great divisions with each group claim their own set of facts, I believe it is more important than ever to read responsibly, to check out the “facts” given, and to decide if this is information you need to consider or ill-founded propaganda.