Things I wish people wouldn’t say to me
“Oh, you got a haircut.” This always means “I notice you got a haircut. It’s not a good one.” Always. Sometimes, “Well, look at that,” precedes the remark and also is never good.
“How could you possibly think that was a good idea?”
“Are you wearing a new lipstick?” Understood meaning: “It makes you look like you have jaundice.”
From my doctor, “You know, you’re not getting any younger.”
From a male teacher with whom I was discussing a verse from Matthew, “Why don’t you go home and have your husband explain that to you?”
I don’t like to spend money. No, the problem goes even deeper. More than just Scotch or parsimonious or frugal, I’m downright—an ugly word is coming up–cheap. As the clichés go, I can squeeze a dollar until it screams. See that picture below of the person burning a dollar? That is not me! I take gentle care of every bill.
How cheap am I?
I’m currently using a lipstick which is such a terrible color it makes me look as if I have jaundice . When I brush it on, it feels as if I’ve smeared grease on my lips. In addition, that terrible blobby substance leaves hideous, oily magenta stains on anything within five inches. I keep using it because the tube cost nearly nine dollars.
I’ve used room spray that smells only slightly better than the odor it’s meant to mask and throws my sinuses into spasms. I can’t stop using it. I still have half a can left.
Most days, you’ll see a bottle of something—hand lotion, laundry detergent, ketchup—on the counter with another bottle of the same substance on top of it upside down, the contents dripping into the first container. I like to believe I’m saving the world one drip-drop at a time.
Do any of you take such drastic measures to save money? Funny or helpful, give me your tips here. AND, if they’re sound, I’ll use them either in my next newsletter or my website (janemyersperrine.com) and mention your name. I’m looking for these tips because the people who populate Butternut Creek are a thrifty lot and Adam doesn’t have two pennies to rub together. .