Category Archives: Reading

Beating the Holiday Blues by Diane Perrine Coon

Today my marvelous sister-in-law, Diane Perrine Coon, shares remedies for Holiday Blues.

imagesWhen you’re sick over the holidays and still trying to cook meals and your head’s all stuffed up and you really don’t plan to make it to midnight and celebrate the New Year because all you are doing is coughing up mucus, then you have the Holiday Blues.

Here are my suggestions of how to ward off the Holiday Blues.

  1. Share your misery with the first person on your phone callback button, especially if they are trying to sell you something.
  2. Wander in and out of the bathroom looking for something, anything, everything because you can’t remember what it was you thought you needed.images
  3. Watch college basketball and if it gets too much, watch NBA basketball. Do not watch football, there are too many players on the field and you will get mixed up.
  4. Wrap up in a sweater, a coverlet, and a quilt over the top off all and then wonder why you feel hot when you don’t have a fever.
  5. Drink fluids – soft drinks, tea, coffee, ice water, fruit juices – and stay real close to the bathroom.
  6. imagesMake the dog go outside by himself. If the dog police come get you, hand them the leash.
  7. Read lots of recipes. Think how long it will take to prepare them, and then discard all of them. But the bright photos showing fabulous meals will brighten up the room.
  8. Play computer games, many of them. Mindless almost fun even when sneezing all over the keyboard.
  9. Send your soul-mate to the liquor store to get Plum Wine. It cures everything and especially the Holiday Blues. Guarantee it.images
  10. Think back to the last time you had a great holiday. Was that twenty years ago?

Get well all of you out there with Holiday Blues.

 

 

My obsession with words

POWer of words aI love words.   I roll them around in my mouth and taste each.    When I hear a new word, it tickles my ears and delights me.   Words carry history with them and emotion.   They are not formed only of letters but of  feelings and experience and much more.

My obsession began when I was in eighth grade.  In English class, the dictionary 2teacher would leave a dictionary on the desk in front of each row so we could look up a word and check spelling while we wrote a theme.   I usually finished my theme early and would spend those extra minutes in that front desk, reading the dictionary, learning new words, savoring them.

No wonder I majored in English and Spanish in college:  new words in two languages.    I loved the study of language, the history of words.  I could go on forever talking about root word, about how, in Spanish, words that began in F centuries ago changed to the letter H.  Consider yourselves lucky that I’m not going to discuss the verb satisfacer and how it’s conjugated.

My favorite word is from Spanish:  carcajada which means a deep belly laugh.    It sounds like what it means and has such beautiful rhythm.

words I loveI understand not all people love words as I do.  When I got excited about a word in Spanish and attempted to explain its origen or uses or something equally fascinating to my classes,  students looked at me as if I were absolutely nuts.   And, yes, I may be.

Do you have a word you like?  Perhaps because of meaning or sound?  Please share that.  I’d love to know and I won’t feel so alone.

 

 

 

 

Read the instructions

There are two kinds of people:  those who read the instructions and instructionsthose who don’t.  I imagine most of us belong to the latter group.     As a teacher for years, I can swear to the fact that teachers are worse about following instructions than students.  I guess we all believe we’ll figure that out.  We’re smart and creative, right?

In 1987, I went from Kentucky  to a work camp at Inman Christian Center WANG2in San Antonio during a really hot July.  We were scraping and painting  the playground equipment.  On the second day, one of the center staff asked if anyone knew how to set up a computer system.  We had Apples at home.   I used mine all the time but felt sure someone knew more than I did.   However no one did and the task meant working inside in the air conditioning so I volunteered.    This was a WANG, one of the early makes and not a bit user friendly but I set it up and trained staff.   When I called George to tell him what I was doing, he gasped and asked, “How did you do that?”  To his great surprise, I answered, “I read the instructions”

Sometimes that’s a good place to start.

coffee makerI learned that again a few  weeks ago.   I make a full pot of coffee every couple of days and stretch the length of time it lasts by adding water to the tank.    However, it does get weaker and weaker so I decided to add the already made coffee to the tank which will warm it up without thinning it.   Yes, I know the instructions say, “Use only water in the tank” but I considered that over regulation by a big business and poured my coffee in.   An hour later, I smelled something burning and searched for the cause.   Quickly I realized it smelled like burning coffee.  Oh-oh.  I poured water into the reservoir.  Issue resolved.  Coffee odor gone.  Lesson learned.

Which are you?  Do you always follow directions or do you take off on your own?

 

A few differences between cats and dogs

puppy and kitten1.  95% of dogs will help their owners clean by licking up food dropped on the floor.    12% of cats will deign to sniff it before walking away.

2.   92% of dogs will protect their owners by barking at strangers.  1% of cats will protect their owners if they feel like it.cats vs dogs

3.      71% of dogs are trained to sit on command.   100% of cats will sit when they feel like it.

Okay–what did you think of this?  Are dogs better than cats because of their habits?   Here’s the background.  A friend posted an article on Facebook comparing the habits of two groups of people.   It was obvious the writer greatly preferred one group,  looked down on the other, and hope to influence the reader to agree.   For that reason,  I decided to write this blog because this is  often done and we are so easily manipulated.

Reading an column, we should look at who the writer is and what that writer’s point of view is.   The writer of those three comparisions between dogs and cats seems fairly obviously a dog person. (For the sake of fairness, I have to admit that I am the person who wrote this–as if you haven’t guessed– and really love both canines and felines.)

fact check star treckFact check.  Did these statistics come from the writer’s brain, a trusted and professional study, or a study done by Dogs-Who-Hate-Cats?   Don’t be manipulated by a prejudiced writer or by facts and figures that may not be based on anything other than that they fit with our ideas and we like to find someone else who agrees.

Ask yourself:  are there other factors that could explain these?  Well, of course, more dogs back than cats because they ARE dogs!

Here’s another and different examples:  What do you think could explain bath vs showerthis difference in habits?  Again, numbers are made up.   75% of men  shower once a  day.   23% women do.    We could jump to the conclusion that men are cleaner than women.  But the truth could also be  1)  Many women prefer to take a bath  or  2)  Some women shower twice a day.

In this age of great divisions with each group claim their own set of facts, I believe it is more important than ever to read responsibly, to check out the “facts” given, and to decide if this is information you need to consider or ill-founded propaganda.

 

What makes me laugh

I love to laugh. Imagine you do, too.   I’ve heard it’s good for one’s  health.  When I feel down, I watch one of the fifty-five episodes of the Big Bang Theory I have recorded.  What else makes me laugh?

On television, I love the  Headlines segment on the Tonight Show which shows funny headlines or newspaper stories.   My favorite was from many years ago.   Before he showed the newspaper clipping,  Jay Leno said, “I think the word they were looking for was Geritol.”   The newspaper story said that after the wedding reception for his daughter, the father of the bride reached for his genitals.  I always wonder what the reaction of the father of the bride was when he read that, poor man.  Hope it made him laugh after he got over the initial shock because I still enjoy it all these years later.   Also on the tonight show, I enjoy  most of the Photo Booth and Crime Blotter episodes.

Movies that make me laugh:  The original The In-Laws with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk.   I can recite the funny line like  “Serpentine” and “Mosquitoes the size of condors” and am hysterical when I remember  the flames on the side of the up-tight dentist’s car.   I love the movie American Dreamer about a romance writer with amnesia in Paris .  No one else has ever heard of it.   Almost anything John Cleese  makes me laugh.  John Oliver, too.

I’ve Got Friends in Low Places,   Itsy-bitsy, Teenie-weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini,   Love Potion Number Nine and Surfin’ Bird always make me smile.

 What else?  Books by Kristen Higgins, Janet Evanovich, Jane Graves, and Candis Terry.  Friends who support and care–well, they don’t always make me laugh but they make me feel good,  My sister-in-law Diane who has the most wonderful and outlandish adventures.  The sounds of a small child’s or children’s laughing fills me with delight.  I can’t help but  join them.

And the pets, of course.  My cockatiel who sat on my shoulder and shared my scrambled eggs at breakfast;  Mr. Scooter, the tuxedo cat who just hid on the table where he know he’s NOT supposed to be but the rattling of the pile of papers he’s on gives him away;  Maggie when she looks around to make sure no one is watching before she plays with complete abandon with a catnip mouse;  Ginger, the sociopathic cocker,  who ate purses to get to the candy inside; Daffy, another cocker,  who pranced and smiled when George did the dishes because she knew he’d give her scraps.   What would we do without our pets who make us laugh?

What makes you laugh?  I’d love to know. 

It is Friday, right?

I have confessed previously my inability to have even the slightest and most hazy idea what day it is.   On Wednesday evening–I knew it was Wednesday because the cleaning crew comes on Wednesday, one of the few markers of time in my world–a local news anchor said, at the end of the broadcast, “Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. “

If you don’t think that messed me up!  I searched for that morning’s newspaper and figured since the only one I could find was Wednesday’s, the next day would probably be Thursday.  I checked the guide on the cable and dashed through programs for today and tomorrow until I got to SATURDAY–then counted back.   Then I checked on the icons on the Mac screen–further proof the news anchor was wrong.  It gave me a feeling of smug satisfaction.

Not that it really makes any difference.  My daily schedule is get up, read the paper, write, swim, read a novel, watch the news with meals inserted at the right times.   Add church on Sunday.  My most important activity is–according to Maggie and Scooter–petting the cats and spoiling them but because that comes at whatever time they demand, it’s not written in the schedule.

I remember back–oh, so many years ago–when I was young and chanted, “TGIF”, looking ahead to a weekend stretching ahead empty and full of  adventures.    When I got older, the adventures didn’t hold as much appeal and, besides church, I spent six hours on Sundays grading papers and doing lesson plans.   That made weekends not nearly as tantalizing.

All of which leads to these questions:   Do you  cherish your weekends?  Why?  What do you do–or don’t you do–that you look forward to?

Me and Fiorello La Guardia

When George is sick, he likes me to read the funnies to him.  In Austin, we have two pages devoted to the funnies which is better, in terms of reading them to another person, than Houston which had FOUR pages.  I don’t know WHY he likes me to read them.  Sometimes it’s because he’s really sick and doesn’t have the strength to hold the paper.  Other times, the surgeon has told him to lie flat so the incision will heal.   However, I think the real reason is because it amuses him.  I’m all for cheering him up when he’s not well.

What makes him laugh–silently because he doesn’t dare to chortle if he wants me to continue–are the voices I use.  So he can tell who’s speaking without being able to see the pictures, I use a high voice for Blondie and a gravelly tone for Dagwood.   I tried a hip-hop speech pattern for one guy.  I don’t do it well.  I’m really a failure on accents.   In Get Fuzzy, before Satchel speaks, I say, “Woof”, so George knows a dog is commenting.  

 I don’t know why I’m telling you all this but George felt this was worth blogging about so, to make him feel better, here it is.  Also, I’m available to read to you–for a small charge.

Why do I mention Fiorello, the “little flower”, La Guardia, mayor of New York City from 1934-1945?   In 1945, the newspaper delivery drivers went on strike so no one could get the paper.   On the first Sunday of the strike, when the mayor was preparing to do a show, he decided it would be nice to read Dick Tracy to the kids.  Every Sunday from then on, he read the comics to children on the radio and made them happy.

Okay, I don’t read to a city full of children who missed their favorite cartoon characters.  No, I read to George which cheers him up.  That’s a pretty good reason.,

Anyone else have a favorite Fiorello La Guardia story you’d like to share?

The Matchmakers of Butternut Creek

The Matchmakers of Butternut Creek, the second book in the Tales from Butternut Creek series, will be out Tuesday, November 20th–which is TOMORROW!

Come back to Butternut Creek and visit with Adam, Miss Birdie, Janey and Hector,  and all the other nice people there.

Find out if Adam finds a wife and if Miss Birdie approves.

And just have a great time!

Celebrate!

 

The Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt Is On!

THE WINNER IS Sharon Miller.  Thanks to all who stopped by, liked and/or friended me! 

Welcome to the Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt! If you at any time need to read the instructions for the hunt, please visit www.christianfictionscavengerhunt.com

AND, welcome to my site.   I’m Jane Myers Perrine.  Delighted to be part of this scavenger hunt!  Hope you’ll have fun here!

You may know me from my books at Love Inspired:  The Path to Love, Love’s Healing Touch, Deep in the Heart, and Second Chance Bride.  I loved those books and hope you’ve read some or all of them!

I’m now writing a series for FaithWords about a young, inexperienced minister who is called to serve a church in the beautiful Hill Country of Texas.   This series has been so much fun to write because my husband and I are both ministers.  We’ve met some of these (carefully disguised!) people and experienced many of these event in churches we’ve served.

The first book in the series is The Welcome Committee of Butternut Creek which is now available and has had great reviews.  It’s been compared to both Jan Karon’s wonderful Mitford series and Phillip Gulley’s Harmony books..

The second book in the series is The Matchmakers of Butternut Creek which will be out in late November of this year.

What should I tell you about myself?  First of all, I love to write humor and have really loved using it in these novels.  Second, as well as being a minister, I’ve taught Spanish in high school and college.  Third, George and I live in central Texas with two spoiled tuxedo cats who rule our lives.

I have a contest on this blog for an advanced reader’s copy of The Matchmakers as well as a set of magnetic bookmarks with scriptures.   You’ll get one point for posting here on this blog, one for TWEETING (@perrinejane  Please mention Butternut Creek so I know to count you) and one for liking me on Facebook  (Jane Myers Perrine).  Due to postage, I can only send this prize to readers in the USA or Canada.

About the book:  The Matchmakers of Butternut Creek picks up after The Welcome Committee ends.  Peoples have asked me if the minister, Adam Jordan, gets married in the second book.  Maybe.  Miss Birdie, the Widow who runs the church is back.  Even if you haven’t read The Welcome Committee, you know her.  She’s the lady who runs the church but only because she loves people and is sure everyone will be better off and happier if they do things her way.   The other Widows appear and one is added.  Leo and Nick still pull stunts and life goes on in Butternut Creek.  The parsonage is that Victorian house next to the Christian Church.  Sit down, pour yourself a glass of lemonade, and chat a spell.

Each of the books starts with a letter from Adam.  Here’s the letter that begins The Matchmakers of Butternut Creek. 

 From the desk of Adam Joseph Jordan, M Div.

I continue to be a sad burden for Birdie MacDowell. Since I arrived at the church in Butternut Creek seven months ago, I’ve attempted to lift that weight from her shoulders and to correct the many errors she expects me to atone for.

If she were to comment on the first paragraph of this letter, Miss Birdie would point out that I wrote a run-on sentence and ended it with a preposition. Despite my earnest efforts, I have failed her again, at least grammatically.

When I first arrived here in Butternut Creek, called to serve the Christian Church, she saw me as too young and too inexperienced for almost everything. She was correct. She believes she always is. Personally, I’d hoped the passage of time would take care of both of my flaws, but Miss Birdie is not one to wait around and hope for change.

Although she’s never expressed this, an odd omission for a woman who prides herself on her speaking out fearlessly, she knows that a man of my age (too young) and with a sad lack of piety could never act as her spiritual guide.

She’s probably correct. I am woefully incompetent to lead another person to faith when I struggle daily with my own flaws. Thank goodness for grace from the Lord if not from Miss Birdie.

I have discovered a few things in the months I’ve been here. First, I fell in love with this small town in the beautiful hill country of Texas the moment I arrived: the friendly people, the Victorian houses, the live oaks shadowing the streets, the downtown square surrounded by coffee shops and gift stores and antique malls with a few businesses—the barber shop and the diner where Miss Birdie works–sprinkled in.

Secondly, I found out I do possess some skills. I preach a good sermon, teach an interesting adult Sunday school class, have an active youth group, and make much appreciated hospital calls and evangelistic visits regularly. I’ve also improved my basketball game.

But there was one area in which Miss Birdie still found me lacking: finding a wife and producing children to populate the children’s Sunday school classes.

Yes, she wanted me to find a bride. Wanted is an inadequate word here. Even determined doesn’t approach the level of her resolve. Add to that adjective single-minded and unwavering and the total comes close to her desperate need to marry me off. Do not add choosyto that list because she’d marry me off to any single woman still in her child-bearing years who lives within a fifty-mile radius of Butternut Creek. Her task is made nearly impossible by the dearth of single women in small central Texas towns.

Could be she expects God to create a mate from my rib, but that hasn’t happened yet. Nor do I expect to wake up, as Boaz did, to find a bride lying at my feet. Of course, if a woman should appear in my bed, whether at the foot or cozily snuggled next to me, her presence in the parsonage would create a scandal from which neither the church nor I would recover.

Because Miss Birdie has renounced these biblical approaches to finding me a wife, I shudder to imagine what schemes ARE in her fertile and scheming mind. All for my own good, of course.

For the protection and edification of all involved, I decided to document every one of the efforts she and her cohorts, the other three Widows, have made in their attempts to find me a mate. In addition, this book will cover my next year as minister in Butternut Creek, my search for experience and a wife as well as the joy of living here with the wonderful people who inhabit this paradise.

I send it off with my love and my blessing and in the desperate hope that someday Miss Birdie will smile upon me and say, “Well done, Pastor.”

For your next clue, go to  http://vickiemcdonough.com/www.vickiemcdonough.com/CFSH.html

Salsa and blue Jell-o

Every year since 1998, Beloit College has published a “Beloit College Mindset List”.  I love it because it reminds me how old I am—well, actually, that isn’t my favorite reason—and how those events and things I believe are part of our culture don’t even appear as a blip in the minds of seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds entering college.

I read this list every year—here’s the link to the latest list  http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/

My favorite list came out a few years ago.  I first heard about it in the September 21, 2009, issue of TIME magazine when Nancy Gibbs wrote this:  The Mindset List is a “dictionary of all the deeply ingrained cultural references that will make to sense to students of the incoming class. This year’s freshmen were typically born in 1991.  That means, the authors explain, they have never used a card catalog to find a book; salsa has always outsold ketchup; women have always outnumbered men in college; there has always been blue Jell-O.”

I remember hours spent going through card catalogs when I was in college.  And, when I was in college, men outnumbered women three-to-one.  Of course, that did little for me, a humanities major, because most of these guys majored in agriculture or engineering, fields pretty much closed to women way back then.

Think of the phrases students today don’t really understand:  both dial and hang up the phone, a broken record.   In the future, it may be these will be explained in books that tells us what “the whole nine yards” means. 

Both my husband and I have Kindles and will not return to reading real books.  He also uses salsa on his scrambled eggs.   And I prefer red Jello although I’ll eat any color of M&Ms.

What changes do you see around you?  What do you remember that today’s kids know nothing about?   I’d love to hear from you.