Monthly Archives: January 2015

Lines I’ll never forget

imagesDo you have a favorite line or two from a movie?  I bet you do.  I’m going to share two of my favorites, then I’ld love for you to share yours.  One more thing: my favorites always make me laugh.  Do yours?

One of the problems with sharing these, of course, is that   1)  everyone won’t enjoy my favorites and 2) quoting lines from a movie the other person hasn’t seen usually goes to prove that “you had to be there”.  Nonetheless, I’m going to do that.

From The Blues Brothers:   Everyone loves and quotes on line, “We’re on a mission from imagesGod”, but my favorite is when Jake and Elwood are sitting in their car and Elwood–in a neutral voice–says, “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses. ”  Describes the situation perfectly but why does that line make me laugh?  The absurdity of the situation?  The deadpan delivery?  The sunglasses?  Probably all of them but, like so much humor, you had to be there.

imagesIf you’ve read my book Taking a Chance, you know I love the movie The In-laws.  If you haven’t read Taking a Chance, I’m telling you now that I love this movie–the first one, the classic with Peter Falk and Alan Arkin.  One of the many sections that always make me laugh is when Falk, a CIA agent, describes a village in South America:   “They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles. Really. In the evening, I would stand in front of my hut and watch in horror as these giant flies would pick children off the ground and carry them away.”  I know why that’s funny.  It’s absurd and it also created a really absurd picture in my mind.

Also from that movie, George would turn to me every now and then and say, “Serpentine.” Always made me laugh.

What are some of your favorite lines, scenes, etc., from a movie, book or television show?  Share the laughter.   images







“What’s the big deal? It’s just a spider.”


“They shot my belly out”




..They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles. Really.

In the evening, I would stand in front of my hut and watch in horror as these giant flies would pick children off the ground and carry them away.

They shot my belly out.

Professor Fate: Leslie escaped?

General: With a small friar.

Professor Fate: Leslie escaped with a chicken?

tsetse flies  the size of eagles.

A house is not a home without a resident nag

Maggie, the little girl cat, looks sweet and loving, and she is.  However, there is a dark side to her personality.  She’s a nag, a terrible nag. Fourteen pounds of fur and she controls my life.

When she wants me to sit down and pet her, DSCN0438she tells me–loudly and insistently no matter what else I may be doing–my duty is to leap to my feet and obey. When her water bowl is nearly empty, she searches me out–not hard in my small apartment–and gives me a hard time, screeching at me until I follow her.  Then she wants me to pour the water from above so she can lick a few drops as it goes by.

Yes, Maggie knows exactly what she wants done and how I should do it.  I must be a great burden and disappointment to her.  I hate hearing her ME-OWW!  because I know somehow I’ve failed terribly.  Listed below are some of the things I say to her when she demands I do what she wants me to do.

MAGGIE:  Mee-ooowimages

JANE:  Hold your horses. I have to answer the phone.

or “Just a minute. I have to check my blood sugar.”

or “I’ll be right there. Let me finish typing this word.”

or  “Hold on, I have to scoop the cat box.”

or  “Keep your furry little pants on, I’m eating now.”  or “I’m sleeping now.” or “I’m pottying now.”

images“Be patient.  I have to call a friend. . . Okay, I’ll feed you first.”

“In a minute. I have to load the dishwasher.”

Or get a glass of water or clean up the kitty vomit (usually from Scooter, Maggie’s big, furry brother) . . . or . . . so many things.

What Maggie says after I explain the delay:   ME-OWW.

Who nags you? I’d love to hear.


Beating the Holiday Blues by Diane Perrine Coon

Today my marvelous sister-in-law, Diane Perrine Coon, shares remedies for Holiday Blues.

imagesWhen you’re sick over the holidays and still trying to cook meals and your head’s all stuffed up and you really don’t plan to make it to midnight and celebrate the New Year because all you are doing is coughing up mucus, then you have the Holiday Blues.

Here are my suggestions of how to ward off the Holiday Blues.

  1. Share your misery with the first person on your phone callback button, especially if they are trying to sell you something.
  2. Wander in and out of the bathroom looking for something, anything, everything because you can’t remember what it was you thought you needed.images
  3. Watch college basketball and if it gets too much, watch NBA basketball. Do not watch football, there are too many players on the field and you will get mixed up.
  4. Wrap up in a sweater, a coverlet, and a quilt over the top off all and then wonder why you feel hot when you don’t have a fever.
  5. Drink fluids – soft drinks, tea, coffee, ice water, fruit juices – and stay real close to the bathroom.
  6. imagesMake the dog go outside by himself. If the dog police come get you, hand them the leash.
  7. Read lots of recipes. Think how long it will take to prepare them, and then discard all of them. But the bright photos showing fabulous meals will brighten up the room.
  8. Play computer games, many of them. Mindless almost fun even when sneezing all over the keyboard.
  9. Send your soul-mate to the liquor store to get Plum Wine. It cures everything and especially the Holiday Blues. Guarantee it.images
  10. Think back to the last time you had a great holiday. Was that twenty years ago?

Get well all of you out there with Holiday Blues.



What word do you wish would never be spoken again?

imagesLake Superior State University comes up with a “words that should be retired” list every year.  This year, these words and phrases, among others were suggested:

Polar Vortex.  One person wrote, “Wasn’t it called ‘winter’ just a few years ago?”

Skill Set   One nominator wondered why we had to use two words for this idea instead of the perfectly good word skills.

*-Nation.  Living in Texas I get very tired of hearing about Aggie Nation.  For that reason, I agree with retiring this concept.  A nominator suggested only a country can be called a nation.

imagesI really don’t have words I dislike although “whatever” as used by teenagers with the rolling and the eyes and dismissive shrug,is probably my least favorite.  No, I’m more a grammar cop and hate poor punctuation and “Where’s he at?”

For that reason, I’m asking for your help.  Is there a word you hate to hear other people say–clean, please–or that you don’t use because you don’t like it?  Please tell me.  I’d love to know.